So, I thought I was trying to be good and not overeat. You know, like 1 Swiss Cake Roll up with a tall glass of creamy milk at 10pm instead of both that come in the package.
But after 3 weeks, my chart seems to be stuck and reads like a broken record!
I know WHY I'm overweight, that's easy. I LOVE food. I love creating it, cooking it, serving it, eating the left overs, etc. And on top of that I crave sweets at night. I've made a lot of bad food choices over the years.
That fact was made apparent to me last week by my hilarious daughter. She was over for Sunday dinner as usual. I was cooking and she showed me a picture on her phone of 2 cuts of meat. I knew if it was a cooking question, I had this. The picture on the right seemed to be a leaner cut of meat, but as a fat ass, I knew the one on the left would be the more flavorful one. Just tenderize it with some seasonings and that would have been my choice of meat. Cooked slowly over several hours like a pig roast.
I've always been a visual learner and this picture has stuck with me this week. I will no longer allow myself to lie to myself.
I've started talking to myself military style when it comes to eating. "Really, you need a piece of cheese on that? Your heart is freakin suffocating idiot. You were born and raised in Chicago. Where is your Chicago girl endurance and will power!?!?! You're weak!!!" And that has made me very angry.
I realize it's a weakness that must be put in it's place. So I only eat small portions of healthy food when my stomach growls and I start getting a headache. Lunchtime at work it's scary trying to stay healthy. They use to smile so big when they saw me coming at McDonalds & Burger King. I was spending $10 and probably eating 10,000 calorie lunch. Now I'm the annoying one that just wants apple slices and a side salad.
One week later, although it's happening way to slowly, my chart is finally is starting to un-stick. And hopefully my arteries as well. You do what works for you. But for me, anger is working.