Wednesday, March 16, 2011

My husband goes on a "retreat" & Karma


March 15th, 2011:

On Tuesday, my husband left for a 3 day, "Managers Retreat" in Michigan.

We both assumed it would be a 3 day conference in a conference room of a Marriott. I packed business casual for him, nice pants, shoes, button down shirts, etc. He was looking forward to 3 days sitting on his behind, with banquet hall meals, hot tub, golf, pay per view, not worrying about me, the kids, the dogs or his dad.
HOW UNFAIR!!! WHERE'S MY RESORT?

And, how am I going to sleep, alone, knowing he's being pampered, leaving me in charge of everything? Then Karma stepped in on my behalf.

Me to hubby last night, "Did you make it up there OK?" He said, "Yeah, we're all sitting around the campfire now, good thing you packed some sweaters, we're in the middle of nowhere, out in the woods, no stores nearby for things I might of forgotten."
Me..... "CAMPFIRE?" 

OK, well, call me when you're in your room for the night."

Later that night he calls and says, "Hi, I'm in my room now".
Me.... "Good honey, is it one bed or two?"
Him, "Actually its 2 sets of bunk beds."

Me.... "BUNK BEDS?"

Later on, when I was trying to fall asleep I started thinking about it.....

WOODS? CAMPFIRES? BUNK BEDS?

IT ALL STARTED MAKING SENSE AND I HAD TO SIT UP IN BED, I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD. This isn't a 3 day conference in a Marriott like I thought and he had hoped for. I realized this is probably one of those "OPRAH" type of Manager Retreats.

I PICTURED HIM, WAY UP HIGH IN A TREE, HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE, WHILE ALL THE OTHER MANAGERS ARE BELOW HIM, HOLDING A BIG BLANKET, SHOUTING UP TO HIM, "JUMP, JUMP, JUMP, TRUST, TRUST, TRUST....."

OK, now I have tears rolling down my face because I'm laughing so hard and my father in law (assuming I'm a good daughter in law who's crying because I miss his son) says to me, "Bev, are you OK up there?" Me, "Yeah, Dad, I think I'll be OK now".

I gathered up all the pillows, and continued to laugh into them. He thought he was going to a resort for 3 days to relax, be pampered, play golf, etc. BUT HE'S IN THE WOODS, WITH BUGS & CAMPFIRES & BUNK BEDS, HA HA!!!

He called me again later and I said to him, "So now are you just gonna stay in your room and watch American Idol?"

He said, "No, there's no TV's or phones in our TRAIN CARS, I'll have to walk through the woods to the main cabin".

I said "TRAIN CARS?"

He said "Yeah, Our rooms are actually old train cars and there aren't any TV's or phones in them."

OK, NOW I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AGAIN. 

No tree climbing, but hes in an old train car, in the woods, cold, sitting by a campfire, with bugs, sleeping in a bunk bed, IN A TRAIN CAR, NOT our king sized bed being pampered by me. Not even phones or T.V's. I think he's going to be very happy to get back home, just as I had hoped.  

And to think, earlier in the evening I didn't know how I'd be able to sleep alone tonight.  Ahhhh, sweet, sweet, revenge, I mean Karma, she's my girl!  I slept like a baby.


UPDATE: Well, my father in law is doing great and said he can move back into his own home after my husband gets back. Unfortunately (for me), my husband's retreat wasn't a tree climbing experience. It was those kind of silly team building exercises, but in the classroom. Oh well, my imagination kept me entertained.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

My trip to the "real" Casino, or so I thought.

March, 2011:

So I tried to talk my husband into taking me to the Casino this weekend.  He said honey, don't waste your money, you usually lose.  I said, honey, it doesn't bother me at all, its your money.

He recently sold my car to the junk yard for $100 dollars (see my post, Bev's car dies its final death posted 2/15/11). I said we should each take $50 of that money and try our luck at a "real" casino. No way I could buy another car with $100, but I thought, maybe I could win enough to buy one.

I told him the reason I lose with him is because he always takes me to the casino boats around Chicago, and they're not "real" casinos.
I told him the times I won I was in a real, land based casino, in other states, owned by Native Americans, my long, long, lost ancestors (because my mom once told me a great, great, great, great, 2nd cousin married a Sioux Indian and they had no kids).  BUT IN MY MIND (and only in my mind), THERES SIOUX BLOOD IN ME and that will help.

Well, my husband was laughing by this time but decided to indulge me and take me.

I've went to casino's on special occasions for 20 years.  And I've only won twice.  Once, at Ho-Chunk Casino in Wisconsin Dells with my friend Tina (this picture below) I won about $3,000 and once in Black River Falls, Wisconsin I won about $500.  Both LAND BASED CASINOS, owned by NATIVE AMERICANS.  Those are the casino trips I choose to remember.
We're leaving for Indiana, I figure, its in Indiana, (even kinda sounds like Indian), it must be a "real" casino.  So we tell our smart ass teenage daughter the story, she's laughing, she can't believe her dad bought my "my people" story and so she says to me:


"HOLD ON HERE POCAHONTAS, "YOUR" PEOPLE?" 
and she went into hysterical laughter again.

I ignored her and we left for the casino.  Brat, what does she know?

We drive an hour to Indiana, pay 2, $3.50 tolls for the Skyway (WTF Indiana!!!) get there, and its on Lake friggin Michigan!!!  A friggin barge/boat!!!

So yes, I lost, again, but I feel its only because I didn't have the Native American luck on my side, the luck of  MY people (only in my mind), the Sioux.  Forget Indiana, next time its the Wisconsin Native American owned casinos or bust!

UPDATE, 8/13/2011:  Well, I finally went to the new Casino on the N.W. side of Chicago with my friend Tina.  And guess what?  Even though its called "Rivers Casino" its a LAND BASED CASINO RIGHT HERE IN CHICAGO!!!  I played 1 and 2 cent slots and won all day long.  I drank to much and stayed to long and ended up giving most of the money back to the casino but it was a lot of fun.  

When Tina dropped me off at home without any winnings, Lorens said, "what happened to all your winnings Pocahontas?"  I told him even though its a land based casino it must not be owned by Native Americans.

He just thinks I drank to much and stayed to long.  

I hate it when he's right.  But it was an adventure!