From then on, every time I heard that commercial come on the radio or TV, I'd picture him in a boxing ring, and it made me smile. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love him to death, I didn't want to see him hurt, maybe just knocked down a few steps. I was thinking, I bet if he was in the boxing ring with real fighters that would teach him a lesson, he's 33, he just THINKS hes still a tough guy.
I was enjoying the Mighty Man commercials WAY too much. Then I THOUGHT I had a great idea. I'll get my point across to him through humor. Me and my practical jokes. But he totally deserved it.
When he got home from work, and we started arguing, I said, "Hey, remember how you said you're bad enough to kick ass in the Mighty Man Competition? Well, guess what, I signed you up today! I guess now we're gonna see how tough you really are!"
I was waiting for him to look scared, instead, a smile came across his face. I realized, he's TRULY happy, excited. He couldn't wait to call the guy back!
Lorens told him he didn't have a ring name. The guy asked what our last name was, Lorens told him, and the guy said, "OK, then your ring name will be...",
We joked around before he left and I said, "OK, I'LL SEE THE REAL LORENS WHEN HE GETS HOME TONIGHT, I'VE MISSED HIM. AND YOU? YOU MR. TOUGH GUY, I HOPE YOU GET YOUR ASS KICKED."
I thought, I'll wait for him to come home, with his tail between his legs. I'll bandage him up, put ice on his wounds, nurse him back to health, tell him I'm glad he learned his lesson, and I still love him, etc.
So late that night I hear several cars pull into my driveway. I hear laughing, cheering, etc. And I thought, UT OHH.
He was tired, relaxed. The fight did help. He was on cloud #9. He gave me a big kiss and said he wished I would have seen him. Getting in a fight DID mellow him, he was calling me sweetie and babe again. It must have released some endorphens or something.
He told me 1 MINUTE INTO THE SECOND ROUND, HE BROKE THE GUYS NOSE AND KNOCKED HIM OUT. It was the ONLY knock out of the entire night. He tells me he's fighting in the Finals tomorrow night.
I WAS SUDDENLY VERY ATTRACTED TO HIM.
So I got a babysitter for Saturday night and went with him to the Finals. It was at the State Fair Grounds, it was huge, hundreds of people in the stands.
Lorens looked right at me and blew me a kiss and I felt like I was at a rock concert and he was the musician on stage you wanted to throw your clothes at. AND HE WAS BLOWING A KISS TO ME!!!
So he fought. It went all 3 rounds. There were a lot of good punches from both and it was hard to call. I thought Lorens had won, he delivered some brutal body shots. Then they announced the other guy won in points. The winner was suppose to go sit down and fight later. But instead, the "winner" went up to the announcer after the fight and said he was hurt bad, he was having trouble breathing and he couldn't go on. Even though Lorens lost the fight, Lorens had broken the guys ribs.
At the end of the night my husband, at 33, and at least 10 years older than everyone else, was given a Mighty Man Finalist trophy that sits in our china cabinet today. We also have the fights on tape, but it was 1998, so they're on VHS. When I figure out how to copy them, I'll post the fights.
Its not easy being a smoker, 33 years old and fighting hard 2 nights in a row. But he did it. Do you know why? Because hes Lorens, Bad News, Benyamin, thats why, forever in my book.
Signed, Mrs. Bad News Benyamin.