Thursday, April 1, 1993

Bev's BEST April Fools Day, 1993

A few weeks earlier, in March, 1993:
Well, it was time.  Time to go back to work.  I hadn't worked in 4 1/2 months. I had went into pre-term labor on October 15th, 1992 and was ordered to be on complete bed rest.  Jennifer was born healthy, 2 months later on December 15th, 1992 (read my story "Bev's closing day becomes so much more, 12/15/92" http://bev-benyamin.blogspot.com/2011/04/it-was-just-suppose-to-be-closing-day.html).  Then I took my 8 weeks maternity leave and 2 weeks vacation.  She was 10 weeks old when I went back to work in March, 1993.  
My boss, thinking after 4 1/2 months off of work, I should be well rested and ready to conquer the world, was not pleased with 'BEV THE RAG DOLL' that had returned from maternity leave.  I didn't care.  Jennifer had Colic and spent much of the first 3 months of life crying at all hours for no apparent reason.  I would try everything to soothe her in the middle of the night.  I would feed her, change her, sing to her, rock her in my arms near running water, give her gas drops and if that didn't work I would take her for walks in the stroller down my block at 3am hoping the motion would  be enough to soothe her back to sleep.  


And so at work, I was ready for a nap ALL THE TIME.  I didn't see how other working moms did this and I was feeling overwhelmed.

APRIL 1, 1993 - APRIL FOOLS DAY:

About a week after I came back from maternity leave, I was at work, thinking maybe I would have the energy to cook a nice dinner tonight and come up with a good April Fools joke on Lorens.  This was almost like a holiday for us.  We spend every day laughing, joking, playing jokes on each other.  Today is the day set aside for that and we both normally love it.  But not this year, I was exhausted and as the morning went on I didn't give the date another thought.  


I was in the bathroom when the flu symptoms started.  I was so dizzy I thought I might pass out, I had hot and cold chills, was throwing up and wanted to go home sick.  I was thinking, maybe thats why I've been so drained the last few weeks, I have the flu or an infection.


So I went to the Immediate Care Center on my lunch break.  They examined me, took a urine sample and told me the doctor would be right in.  


The doctor came in and said, "Well, its not the flu, YOU'RE PREGNANT!"  


I said, "Oh, no, that's not possible. I've already HAD the baby, shes at the babysitters.  The pregnancy hormone must still be in my system".  That was the only possible explanation to me at that moment.


I WAS THINKING, WHAT A STUPID, DUMB ASS DOCTOR THIS IS, HE SHOULD KNOW THESE THINGS AND NOT GO SCARING WOMAN THAT ALREADY HAD THEIR BABIES.


He started laughing at me and gently touched my arm, all concerned, patting my arm like I was a crazy person and said, "NOOOOO, THIS IS A WHOLE NEW BABY MRS. BENYAMIN".    Turns out he wasn't the dumb ass, I was.
And as it sunk in, I started backing away from him until I was against the wall.  The room started spinning and I thought I was gonna pass out again.  He said, "Please, sit down, can I call someone? Is this bad news?"  I said "No, I'm just in shock." 

The doctors all said I only had a 10% chance of EVER getting pregnant.  We tried for over 3 YEARS and went through countless fertility tests and treatments.  I finally got pregnant with Jen because I was put on the fertility drug Clomid.  Jennifer was a miracle, we all call her our miracle baby.  I thought I might not ever get pregnant again.  Now here I was, 11 WEEKS LATER, against the back wall of the exam room, PREGNANT...AGAIN!  


THE DOCTOR WAS STILL TALKING TO ME, SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT SETTING UP AN ULTRASOUND, BUT HIS VOICE WAS MUFFLED, LIKE THE ADULTS IN THE CHARLIE BROWN CARTOONS (WA WA WA WA).  


I was remembering the Strawberry Margarita pitchers Lorens made for us when Jen was about 8 weeks old, on a schedule and not suffering from Colic that night.  She went to sleep by 9pm and Lorens said now it was "OUR time".  He said the Margaritas were suppose to be that strong.  He said I never looked better.  Lorens, DAMN HIM!  This was all his fault, him and that damn Don Julio Tequila!  It made me happy, carefree, AND PREGNANT AGAIN!!! 

I called Lorens at work......

Me, "Hi honey, I'm back from the doctor"
Lorens, "Is it the flu"?
Me, "Ha ha, I wish",  He said I'm pregnant"
Lorens, "HA HA , APRIL FOOLS!, OK, YOU GOT ME, THATS A GOOD ONE."
Me, "What the hell are you talking about? Oh yeah, its April Fools day, I forgot.  And anyway, I don't care what day it is, LORENS, I'M PREGNANT!".
Lorens, "Bev, you're NOT gonna get me.  I admit it, you've come up with a few good ones over the years, and this IS a good one, but there's no way I buy this crock, nice try."
Me, "I'm so angry at you right now that if you laugh at me one more time I'm going to hang up on you."
Lorens, (hysterically laughing now), "Oh, now that's a good one, now you're going to be mad at me, right? So I'll think you're serious, right?  HA HA HA, you're funny, now knock it off.  I've got to work late, you're full of shit, don't talk to me about it again until tomorrow, we'll see about all this tomorrow, HA HA HA".

SO I HUNG UP ON HIM.  


When I got home from work that night I called my parents and sister and told them.  I needed someone to talk to about this.  I was freaking out.  I was a month pregnant with an 11 week  old baby upstairs.  He walked in from work, heard me on the phone, assumed it was all part of the joke and chimed in,  "Ha Ha, BOY BEV, YOU'RE GOING ALL OUT WITH THIS ONE!  EVEN BRINGING YOUR FAMILY INTO IT, HA HA HA".  I was so angry I decided not to try and convince him anymore and I went to bed.

In the morning he turns over and said, with that STUPID smirk still on his face, "So, are you STILL pregnant?"

Me, "Yes I am.  And I'm going to be pregnant for another 8 months.   Welcome to year 2 of me being pregnant buddy.  And do you know those maternity clothes of mine and giant underwear you wanted me to burn?  I'll be wearing those all of 1993.  You're going to have to get a second job because we won't be able to afford daycare for 2 infants and I'm not speaking to you!"  Then I started crying and went into the shower, leaving him in bed with his mouth hanging open.

Lorens opened the shower curtain a few minutes later.  He was as white as a ghost, mouth still open.  He just stood there, staring at me, until I screamed "What?  What do you want?"  He said, "YOU'RE STILL PREGNANT?  TODAY?  BUT, BUT, TODAY IS APRIL 2ND",  looking all confused, like me yesterday in the doctors office.  



He was waiting for the "HA HA, APRIL FOOLS" announcement that wasn't going to come. 
NOW I BEGAN TO LAUGH!!!!


He sat down on the side of the tub, looking confused.  Poor Lorens, he wasn't there yet.  He kept mumbling, "But its April 2nd now".  I already had 24 hours to deal with this.  He was in shock.  Good.  He deserved it.  Thank you Karma!!!  Ha ha.  
And that was the best April Fools day prank I ever got to pull, and it wasn't even a prank!!! In my opinion, it was the year I didn't have the strength for a prank, and so it was God's way of playing April Fools with us!  It was both of our favorite April Fools Day ever.

And if on April 1st, you happen to see that my Facebook account says my birthday is on April 1st, thanks for the birthday wishes, but my birthday is actually November 7th....GOTCHA.   HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY.


UPDATE:
Michael was born on December 5, 1993, 11 months after our daughter Jennifer.  We got pulled over by the police for speeding on our way to the hospital but he let us go when he saw Lorens was telling the truth and I really was in labor.  It took almost 30 hours of labor in the hospital and Mike and I both struggled, but survived, barely.  I was ordered to be on complete bed rest for 2 weeks after he was born (with a newborn and an 11 month old, so that didn't happen).  Michael had to be rushed to Children's Memorial Hospital for what they thought was a life threatening problem, but survived.  

So we know how lucky we are to have a healthy girl and boy, even though they came so close together.  Michael was at Jen's 1st birthday party.  Our "Irish" twins.  Less than a year apart but not really twins so there were no twin clubs or networks for support.  We needed 2 cribs, a double stroller, 2 hi chairs, they both needed to be carried, both in diapers, etc, etc.  I even got a stress fracture in my forearm from holding a baby 24/7 and had a hard cast on for almost 2 months.  It was hard work, but they had us, each other, they were best friends, truly like having twins
Christmas, 1993.  I was still ill.
Jen was 1, Mike was almost 3 weeks old.

March, 1994.  Feeling much better.
Jen was 15 months old, Mike was 3 months old.

The time went by so quickly.  Jennifer leaves for college in a few months, Michael is a senior in high school.  He's 6'3" and wears a size 18 shoe I have to have special ordered.  I'm lucky I survived his birth to see it all, and I try to appreciate my children everyday.



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