Friday, May 20, 2011

I don't have time to blog about Princess, my bad dog....

I don't have time to blog about this, because I babysit in 1 hour, but I must.  So as my friends know, I've been trying to get out of doing housework for 2 days.  Then I heard some people say the world is ending on 5/21.  When my husband called to ask how my housework was coming along I told him I thought housework would be an unnecessary way to spend my last days on earth.   He said something like, if I put the same energy INTO my housework, that I've put into trying to get OUT of it for the last 2 days, it would have been done already.
So I was trying to be a good little housewife and get it done.  I did my dishes and had just swept and mopped the floors in the kitchen and front room when it was time for his doctors appointment.  He stopped at home to pick me up, he wanted me to go with him.  Perfect.  The floors needed to dry anyway and it was an excuse for me, once again, to get out of any more work.  I figured, oh well, at least the dishes and floors are done.

I need to get to the point, because he keeps yelling up the stairs that I don't have time to blog about this.

So, we come back from the doctor, open the door and this is what I see: The Jewel bag that the 2 loaves of stale, French bread were in, on my kitchen table is now in pieces, in various places, all over my kitchen and front room floors.  The 2 loaves of French bread are missing.

Lorens starts screaming at Princess about her taking food off of the table.  But I told him, "You can't just blame Princess, you don't know it was just her.  I look at Princess, she looks at me, because we both know it was her if its missing food.

Princess is the black lab (mama's baby) - young, crazy, fat, usually a bad dog seconds after being left home alone.
Angel is the yellow lab (daddy's baby) - old, usually innocent, except shes a digger outside.

But then I also see what looks like dirt, or MUD, all over both floors!  I say, "Yeah, but what is this?!"  I picked up a chunk of it, and it was mud!  I said "Angel  must have gotten into a house plant too!"

I thought good, at least they're both in trouble now and its not just my favorite dog, Princess.

The trail of dirt and mud leads into my front room to my largest house planter, about 2 ft. high.  I said, "Angel must have jumped up to get her paws in here, that's a lot of trouble to go through just for the urge to dig!  At least Princess had a good reason for being bad, she must have been very hungry to eat all that bread!"

Then I see something sticking out of the dirt, just barley, it was pretty covered up.  I pulled it out, it was a 1/2  loaf of French bread, about 12", buried in my giant houseplant!  Princess had dug a hole about that deep and put the loaf in, longways even, and then she covered it up with dirt, probably with her nose because the planter is pretty tall and she's not.

The dirt she dug out went right into the toy box for my Grandniece that was sitting next to the planter.  I babysit in 45 minutes, there's mud all over all her toys and books.  I really don't have time to blog about this (which is what my hubby keeps screaming upstairs to me right now).

Lorens looked right to Princess and she looked away, knowing,  if its stolen food, she's busted.  I said, "There's no way to know for sure which dog did it, they're both guilty!"   So he walked away and I thought Princess was a lucky, bad dog.  

Then he came back with a wet, white, wash cloth.

Utt Ohh
I had butterflies in my stomach.  
I felt like we were at the doggy police station,
both of my dogs were about to get paw-printed,
and I knew what was about to happen.  
Princesses' paw prints 
were going to be a 
crime scene match!

He rubs the cloth on Angel's snowy white paws, as she wags her tail and licks him.... RAG COMES BACK CLEAN.  Angel was released with a pat on the head and a "YOU'RE a good girl."   

Then he rubs the rag on Princesses black paws (which I was hoping was just the color of her fur).   Princess has her tail between her legs and her head down..... THE RAG COMES BACK MUDDY.  
Lorens yells at Princess shes a bad girl, go lay down and no din din for her tonight, she's eaten enough.  Then he tells me, this house is just as dirty as when he left this morning, thanks to me and "my" dog.  Earlier, I was sure the smell of floor cleaner would distract him from the fact that not much else was done today, but thats not working any more, thanks a lot Princess.

So I'm holding a loaf of muddy bread in one hand, cleaning MUD off of my clean floors with my other hand.  Floors that smelled like muddy Murphy's Oil Soap in the front room and muddy Lysol in the kitchen because they were cleaned AN HOUR AGO and the floors were still wet.  I started laughing and couldn't stop.  I felt I needed to blog about this real fast.  Lorens told me I don't have time to blog about this, he's said it about 10 times already, while I continue to blog about this.  The baby's things are still full of mud and she'll be here in about 20 minutes.  He's right, I really don't have time to blog about this.

(I just screamed downstairs to Lorens that the new rule is, if I'm holding a loaf of muddy, stale French bread, I get time to blog about it!)

Princess better be careful because now that I'm writing this stuff down, this is the second time shes been the bad dog in my blog.  I probably would have forgotten about the other time too if it wasn't written down, mama's memory of bad dog is short, shes my baby.   OK, Well, I don't have time to blog about my many Princess excuses either.

Time to go finish cleaning my floors, AGAIN, just my luck, thanks Princess.

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