Friday, September 2, 2011

Happy Anniversary with mice???


Well, tomorrow, September 3rd,  is our 22nd wedding anniversary.  I should write about our great love story.  How we've survived the unthinkable time and time again, bringing us closer, making our love stronger.  Its all true.  Our love is stronger because of all we've endured (which I'm not allowed to blog about).  We both try to find the humor in even the most awful times.  And I should write about how when we kiss, he still gives me butterflies.   BUT.......

THEN A MOUSE RAN PAST ME 
and I was thinking, somehow,
THIS IS ALL LORENS' FAULT.  

He thought it was a big joke, like I was making a big deal over nothing.  He probably didn't set the traps right, he probably didn't put fresh peanut butter on them, thinking I'm over exaggerating.  Those death pellets he told me to buy are probably mouse energy bars.

I'VE DECIDED, THIS ISN'T MY WAR TO FIGHT
HE'S OUR GENERAL
THIS IS HIS WAR

I've decided he should probably sleep on the couch downstairs tonight with Mickey & Minnie and all their little friends, to try and capture the enemy.  That's the front line.  I feel like my home is infested and I want to move out, TONIGHT.  Yes, this is somehow all Lorens' fault.  He should stay on the front line until there are no mice left.  

I've tried to block the story from my mind of the scratching on Mike's ceiling, inches from my bedroom.  No, no, that can't be true, that never happened.  Yeah, that's it,  I'm safe upstairs.  No, no, there are no mice upstairs by me.  That's impossible.

(DENIAL, IT'S NOT JUST A RIVER IN EGYPT)

I found a fire emergency ladder you can hang out your window.  I'll be using that to leave the house.  I'll pee in a bucket.  Our children can bring me food.  

So this is my happy anniversary post to him.  
Happy Anniversary Lorens,  
enjoy the first floor.  

CALL ME WHEN ALL THE MICE ARE DEAD.

UPDATE:  Well, its now the morning of the 3rd.  Lorens listened to me complain non stop last night until he put fresh peanut butter on all the traps.  He came upstairs at about midnight and said he had a present for me, IT WAS A DEAD MOUSE IN A SNAP TRAP!!!  I said, "Oh honey, its just what I always wanted!"  We hugged & kissed and made up.  My king sized bed wouldn't of been the same without my king in it.  This morning he went downstairs and started coffee and said there was another present for me.  It was another dead mouse in another snap trap.  Two anniversary presents in the last 24 hours!!!  This is the best anniversary ever!
Sorry Mickey & Minnie, this is OUR castle, 
yours was in Orlando, Florida.  
You should have stayed there.  
Happy Anniversary 
to my husband, my king, my Sultan, 
my general, my love, 
Lorens.

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