Friday, December 9, 2011

Oh Christmas Tree, Bev style.

So, I'm pretty much barking orders from my throne on the front room couch since I hurt my back.  Especially about all of our Christmas decorations.  We had some new neighbors move in last weekend and it kills me that I look like a slacker over here because my outside Christmas decorations aren't up yet, like they normally would be by this date. I figured I could put up the lights and ornaments on my tree inside over the next week or so, just as long as the outside looks finished.

So I told Lorens yesterday, "Just put up all the outside decorations for me and I'll be happy."  

Or so I thought.

When I woke up a few hours later, I was pleasantly surprised.  Our entire backyard fence had lights strung on them.

  • The trees outside were lit up, 
  • The picture window was lit up. 
  •  There are mechanical deer under a tree, moving their heads, all lit up.  
  • A manger with the nativity scene is under another tree. Lorens had even strung lights all around it, it looked great, all lit up.  

I was happy, at first.  We no longer look like slackers to the neighbors.  
We looked more like the Griswald's on the outside of the house.

He had also put the Christmas tree together 
and it was sitting in front of the picture window, 
dark and bare.

So today, I decided I would try and string some lights on it so I could start and put on the 4 containers of ornaments.  But I couldn't find any lights.  I searched every container, they were gone.

I called Lorens at work.  I said, "Honey, where's all the Christmas tree lights?".  He said, "Didn't you look outside?"  I said, "Yes, thank you, its beautiful!  But I'm looking for the tree lights."  He said, "Well, 15 strands didn't work so I threw them away.  I don't know where the rest are."

I finally found the container that was marked "TREE LIGHTS".  
It was in the garage next to his ladder and hammer.  
It was EMPTY.

I realized, all of the lights that he had thrown away were last years outside lights.  They were the ones being subjected to the Chicago elements last season.  Lorens used all our tree lights yesterday for the outside of the house.  Now, there were NO lights for the tree inside.  I'm on a medical leave of absence from my job and so I figured we would have to make due with what we have this year.

So Lorens suggested that we take down the outside lights, 
and put them on our tree where they belong,
A day after we put them all up! 
3 weeks BEFORE Christmas!
There's no way that's happening.

We would go from looking like the Griswald's to 
looking like Mr. & Mrs. Grinch to the neighbor kids.

So I'm the house that is all lit up on the outside with a bare ass Christmas tree in the picture window inside.  It is actually perfect.  Just like my life, a friggin sitcom.   I Love Lucy meets Bev.

Merry Christmas
from my dark ass frontroom.

UPDATE 12/10/11:  O.K.  I might have been being a bit over dramatic.  It didn't stay dark & bare for very long.


  1. A wonderful read, as always, Bev. Loved it!!

  2. Thanks Pam. Merry Christmas!

  3. Brought back good memories of my own. Cherish every moment together. Your mom is proud of you. Shes right there with you, on the couch laughing about the lights. Great story Bev

  4. All of the above comments belong with the next post. Sorry, my fault. I split this post into 2, with the next post now being the sentimental part of the story about the ornaments, where all of the above comments belong.