On 9/11 we had to call 911. Because on a bright and sunny day, out of nowhere, our neighbors giant tree fell into our yard, driveway, and garage roof downing live power lines. Everyone wanted to run outside and survey the damage and I was inside having another panic attack. Those are firemen in my yard on 9/11 with our landlord.
As I was pouring the salt, I thought to myself, when did all of this start? When did I start having panic/anxiety attacks all the time? I know I felt this way this summer in Colorado too, but I told myself I had good reasons for that. There were mountainous roads and bears in Colorado. I'm from Chicago, I'm use to flat roads and Chicago Bears, that's it.
Our yellow lab Angel was so happy to see her. Princess was extremely bloated but was still loving, was still eating and still going to the bathroom in small amounts and was still happy to go on very short walks. I couldn't put her down seeing her still happy, even though she was obviously still very ill. Then she took a turn for the worse and we had to put her to sleep on February 19, 2012. R.I.P. Princess.
I SAT THERE WITH MY MOUTH HANGING OPEN. I had no idea.
My vet never mentioned those exact treats I told him Princess had eaten too many of were under investigation, or that I wasn't the only one who's dog died after eating them.
When I saw this news story I KNEW that was what had happened to Princess as well. Because it has always stuck in my mind as the only difference in my 2 dogs diets and to never buy Waggin Train treats again. These poisoned treats are still on the shelf today and I had to watch a good dog suffer and die because of them.
I didn't know how to get rid of this anxiety. It told him I hate it too. I can't seem to relax anymore, ever. I'm from Chicago, I'm not use to being afraid of anything and now I'm afraid of everything. He hugged me (and he motioned to Michael behind my back to quickly leave while he's calming mom down) and told me it would be O.K. He told me he's not going to let anything bad happen to any of us. I felt like a big baby but couldn't help it. That night I didn't sleep well. I tossed and turned. I hated feeling helpless and afraid.
"BE NOT AFRAID".......Thursday, 9/13/2012
When I woke up, I knew I had many dreams and tried to remember them. They were so intense. I knew many were about Princess although I couldn't remember them exactly, they seemed hidden somewhere in my mind's fog.
I was still on the ground, she was leaning against me, looking up at me and then licking my face, nuzzling my neck just like Princess. I was smiling and laughing with her like I had done with Princess everyday, she was tickling me like Princess used to do. I had forgotten the joy that comes from a dog that showers you with love. Angel is old, thinks she is human and wants to be left alone unless it's time for a walk or to eat. She was never a lap dog like Princess.
I had forgotten saying that to myself yesterday as I sprinkled the salt. I had forgotten all about that conversation/me crying with him last night when our son wanted to go out. I had forgotten all about my dreams of Princess just hours earlier. Until that moment, I had forgotten all of that. I hadn't even had my morning coffee yet.
Now, in that moment, it all made sense to me.
BEST UPDATE EVER: JANUARY 9, 2013: WHOO HOO!!! PURINA & MILO'S KITCHEN HAVE RECALLED JERKY TREATS. 11 MONTHS AND COUNTLESS OTHER DOGS THAT HAVE SUFFERED SINCE PRINCESS DIED, BUT AT LEAST NO MORE WILL:
PURINA ANNOUNCEMENT TODAY: We are voluntarily withdrawing all Waggin’ Train dog treats sold in the US until further notice. While the products are safe to feed as directed, we’re taking action after learning this week that the NY State Department of Agriculture and Markets found trace amounts of antibiotic residue in samples of our products. While there is no health or pet safety risk and these findings aren’t linked to the FDA’s ongoing investigation of pet jerky products, we’re voluntarily withdrawing our products nationally. No other Purina treats or pet foods are affected. For more information, call us at 800-982-0704 or go to www.waggintrainbrand.com.
PURINA FINALLY WITHDRAWS WAGGIN TRAIN, 1/9/2013
MILO'S KITCHEN WITHDRAWS TREATS, 1/9/2013