TRUE STORIES OF A HOUSEWIFE & MOM IN THE BURBS OF CHICAGO. I have very bad luck/ Lucy Ricardo bad luck (which often is the reason for these stories). But we are a happy family through it all, and try to laugh everyday. DISCLAIMER: SOME of the pictures & videos I found on Google-Images & YouTube, they're not mine. BUT THE STORIES ARE ALL TRUE, FROM MY LIFE, AND WRITTEN BY ME, Bev Benyamin
So, my kids told me they each need $250 per couple for Prom tickets. Two hundred and fifty dollars, EACH. JUST FOR THE TICKETS. I, NATURALLY, assumed that meant it came with a Beluga Whale.
NATURALLY!!!
But NO, thats just to get INTO high school prom. I said, "Do you get to take a Beluga whale home? No? Then this is outrageous!"
Now I'm the bad guy.
THEY TRIED TO GIVE ME REASONS WHY THIS TICKET PRICE IS REASONABLE. I heard things like:
"WE'LL BE DANCING ON THE BIG MARBLE FLOOR
WITH THE FISH TANKS ALL AROUND US."
(I could put crushed marbles on the gym floor, with goldfish bowls all around instead, WA LAA!)
"WE'LL BE OVERLOOKING LAKE SHORE DRIVE FOR PROM!"
(I could make a deadly S curve in the school parking lot &
splash the kids as they drive by, WA LAA!)
"WE'LL BE IN DOWNTOWN CHICAGO,
WITH ALL THE SKYSCRAPERS AND SHINING LIGHTS!"
(I would be happy to go up in the rafters of the gym
and shine flashlights in all their faces to save $250, WA LAA!)
I don't see the problem. I think I could do it all for about a buck fifty.
UPDATE:Well, I guess I couldn't have done it for a buck fifty after all. It included transportation there & back, dinner, an all night after party back at the school, and then a pancake breakfast the next morning. The kids said it was a great night and well worth the price in the end (because they didn't have to pay it).
So my cell phone ran out of service days and minutes 2 weeks ago. My husband made the mistake of saying to me, "Bev, I don't see why YOU need a cell phone. YOU'RE JUST A HOUSEWIFE, you have a HOUSE phone and no car anymore." So he didn't budget in any money for my cell phone.
BIG MISTAKE BUDDY, BIG MISTAKE.
So day 1 of me having no cell phone hubby says to me, "What time will the kids be home?" Me, "I have no idea, they can only text from school, so I can't communicate with them for the next 2 weeks." Then I had to go to the grocery store. I told him I'd need his cell phone. He said, "But, what if my work calls?" I said, "OH WELL, I guess I'll tell them your wife DOES need a cell phone." (in my most sarcastic voice ever). Then it was the week of the bowling party and no one could contact me on my cell phone, I complained about that.
I continued until he said, "Enough already, how much longer are you going to keep this up?" I said, "Until your next pay day. Why? Do you think I need a cell phone now? But, I'm just a 'HOUSEWIFE'". He said, laughing, "OK, I'M SORRY, YOU'RE SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT, YOU'RE EVERYTHING, ALRIGHT? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I'LL NEVER LET YOUR CELL PHONE RUN OUT OF MINUTES EVER AGAIN!" So we laughed and kissed and made up and last Friday he put money on my phone. Yeah for me!
Then yesterday, of course, I couldn't find it anywhere. Why couldn't I lose it during the last two weeks when it was out of service days and minutes and I could have cared less?
After cleaning every inch of my house yesterday and doing ALL the laundry, it was still missing. People kept calling my house saying they left me messages on my cell phone, which they said was now going right to voice mail. I thought, thats strange, its fully charged, it should be ringing, telling mama where its at.
So about 10pm, I was putting the last load into the dryer and I heard a loud thump. Utt Oh. WELL OF COURSE IT WAS MY FULL CHARGED, FULLY LOADED, SOAKING WET, CELL PHONE!!! LUCY!!! I dried it out all night, used a blow dryer this morning, but the screen is burned out, its useless, I need a new cell phone.
Lorens just laughed at me and said, "Sorry Lucy, this ones on you. Not my fault." So I started in with all the complaining again of why I must have a cell phone and AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES, HE WAS ALREADY CONVINCED. He said, "OK, ok, you win, you'll get another cell phone TONIGHT, just please STOP!"
So once again, the spirit of Lucy Ricardo was with me yesterday and now tonight I get a new cell phone, thanks Lucy! And if you left me a message on my cell phone, this is why I don't know about it and why I no longer have your phone numbers.
Saturday, April 2, 2011: So I missed my old friends and wanted to get together with them and also invite some new friends. I thought, hey, we love bowling, there's a restaurant inside, bar, pool tables, open bowling, etc. Family friendly fun, drinking is an option but not the main attraction, perfect. So I told all my friends a few weeks ago, show up at the bowling alley Saturday night and we'll all bowl together, it will be great.
But the guy working the counter said unless you want to shell out $480 for the 20 people who said they were coming, in hopes that they'll show up and pay you back, you can't reserve lanes. He put the 10 of us that were there on lanes 1&2. I asked him to please try and hold lanes 3&4 for an hour till the other 10 people get here. He said NO. I guess he wanted to teach me a lesson for not bringing $500 with me to the damn bowling alley. Instead, he'll just be remembered in my blog as the ASSHOLE COUNTER BOY ON A POWER TRIP THAT WORKS AT A BOWLING ALLEY.
When the rest of our party got there, he put them on lanes #30&31, on the complete other side of the bowling alley! What an asshole. I was ready to move up from pitchers of beer to shots of Patron.
The beers were good, and Patron was chilled and flowing. It was fun to be out, laughing, drinking, bowling, and most importantly, socializing with adults.
(cosmic night bowling had started and the black lights make our eyes glow, LOL)
I loved hanging out with old and new friends alike.
It made me think of a song I learned in Girl Scouts:
Make new friends,
but keep the old,
one is Silver,
and the other's Gold.
I loved that part of the evening. THE ONLY PART OF THE BOWLING GET TOGETHER I DIDN'T LIKE WAS THE BOWLING PART. It really got in the way of my drinking and socializing. I just couldn't spend the time with each person the way I had wanted to, thanks to power trippin counter boy, 1/2 of my friends were practically in another county on lanes 30&31!! I don't have any pics of those friends, I didn't have a long range camera lens.
After bowling, any plans I had made for further drinking somewhere else or hanging out there shooting pool were out the window. I had been drinking for 3 hours and was ready for food and bed. THOSE 6 BEERS AND 3 (OR 6) SHOTS OF PATRON from the bowling alley hit me at the BEST burrito place in Chicago, where we've went for 20+ years, LaPalapita on Milwaukee Ave.
My hubby reminded me how I, Bev/LUCY RICARDO, went into the bathroom, locked myself in it on accident. He was on the other side of the wall in the mens bathroom and heard me laughing so he came and knocked on my door.
I said, very loudly, "UMMM, THERE'S SOMEONE IN HERE!"
Hubby said laughing, "YEAH, NO SHIT, ITS MY DRUNK WIFE, OPEN THE DOOR"!
I said (laughing), "Lorens, HELP, its me, I'm stuck, open the door".
He said, laughing, "I know its you, you locked the door on the INSIDE, I can't open it from out here. You're gonna have to work it out by yourself."
So I finally got the door open, after about a minute, which seemed like 5, looking all scared and relieved, he sees my face and started laughing again, making me laugh too.
Our food wasn't ready yet and I was embarrassed so I went right to the video games and start driving this Hummer through the streets of Vegas on the one game. I never drink and drive so I had no idea how impaired someone thats been drinking gets until I played that game. I was up on the sidewalks of the Vegas strip, destroying everything in my path, even running down pedestrians. Then my hummer was upside down, crashed, GAME OVER. Hubby was laughing at me, with his 'I told you so' look that I had too much to drink. I told him this game must just be a lot harder than it looks.
To show me, no Bev, its not the game, its the alcohol in you, he played the next game on it. He stayed on the road, went through all the obstacles successfully, got highest score ever, even got to put HIS INITIALS on the license plate! He said, "See honey, this is why people need designated drivers, EVERYONE SHOULD PLAY THAT GAME BEFORE THEY DRIVE. IF THEY LOSE, THEY SHOULD CALL A CAB."
We ate our burritos there. They were the BEST STEAK BURRITOS I EVER HAD IN MY LIFE (OK, well, the alcohol may of had to do with that too).
But at the time I felt like I was eating food made in heaven
by angels,
with halos,
playing harps,
with a choir singing and everything.
Hubby drove home, I slept like a baby all the way, glad that tonight like always, he was my designated driver so I could be his designated drinker. <3
On Tuesday, my husband left for a 3 day, "Managers Retreat" in Michigan.
We both assumed it would be a 3 day conference in a conference room of a Marriott. I packed business casual for him, nice pants, shoes, button down shirts, etc. He was looking forward to 3 days sitting on his behind, with banquet hall meals, hot tub, golf, pay per view, not worrying about me, the kids, the dogs or his dad.
HOW UNFAIR!!! WHERE'S MY RESORT?
And, how am I going to sleep, alone, knowing he's being pampered, leaving me in charge of everything? Then Karma stepped in on my behalf.
Me to hubby last night, "Did you make it up there OK?" He said, "Yeah, we're all sitting around the campfire now, good thing you packed some sweaters, we're in the middle of nowhere, out in the woods, no stores nearby for things I might of forgotten."
Me..... "CAMPFIRE?"
OK, well, call me when you're in your room for the night."
Later that night he calls and says, "Hi, I'm in my room now".
Me.... "Good honey, is it one bed or two?"
Him, "Actually its 2 sets of bunk beds."
Me.... "BUNK BEDS?"
Later on, when I was trying to fall asleep I started thinking about it.....
WOODS? CAMPFIRES? BUNK BEDS?
IT ALL STARTED MAKING SENSE AND I HAD TO SIT UP IN BED, I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD. This isn't a 3 day conference in a Marriott like I thought and he had hoped for. I realized this is probably one of those "OPRAH" type of Manager Retreats.
I PICTURED HIM, WAY UP HIGH IN A TREE, HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE, WHILE ALL THE OTHER MANAGERS ARE BELOW HIM, HOLDING A BIG BLANKET, SHOUTING UP TO HIM, "JUMP, JUMP, JUMP, TRUST, TRUST, TRUST....."
OK, now I have tears rolling down my face because I'm laughing so hard and my father in law (assuming I'm a good daughter in law who's crying because I miss his son) says to me, "Bev, are you OK up there?" Me, "Yeah, Dad, I think I'll be OK now".
I gathered up all the pillows, and continued to laugh into them. He thought he was going to a resort for 3 days to relax, be pampered, play golf, etc. BUT HE'S IN THE WOODS, WITH BUGS & CAMPFIRES & BUNK BEDS, HA HA!!!
He called me again later and I said to him, "So now are you just gonna stay in your room and watch American Idol?"
He said, "No, there's no TV's or phones in our TRAIN CARS, I'll have to walk through the woods to the main cabin".
I said "TRAIN CARS?"
He said "Yeah, Our rooms are actually old train cars and there aren't any TV's or phones in them."
OK, NOW I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AGAIN.
No tree climbing, but hes in an old train car, in the woods, cold, sitting by a campfire, with bugs, sleeping in a bunk bed, IN A TRAIN CAR, NOT our king sized bed being pampered by me. Not even phones or T.V's. I think he's going to be very happy to get back home, just as I had hoped.
And to think, earlier in the evening I didn't know how I'd be able to sleep alone tonight. Ahhhh, sweet, sweet, revenge, I mean Karma, she's my girl! I slept like a baby.
UPDATE: Well, my father in law is doing great and said he can move back into his own home after my husband gets back. Unfortunately (for me), my husband's retreat wasn't a tree climbing experience. It was those kind of silly team building exercises, but in the classroom. Oh well, my imagination kept me entertained.
So I tried to talk my husband into taking me to the Casino this weekend. He said honey, don't waste your money, you usually lose. I said, honey, it doesn't bother me at all, its your money.
He recently sold my car to the junk yard for $100 dollars (see my post, Bev's car dies its final death posted 2/15/11). I said we should each take $50 of that money and try our luck at a "real" casino. No way I could buy another car with $100, but I thought, maybe I could win enough to buy one.
I told him the reason I lose with him is because he always takes me to the casino boats around Chicago, and they're not "real" casinos.
I told him the times I won I was in a real, land based casino, in other states, owned by Native Americans, my long, long, lost ancestors (because my mom once told me a great, great, great, great, 2nd cousin married a Sioux Indian and they had no kids). BUT IN MY MIND (and only in my mind), THERES SIOUX BLOOD IN ME and that will help.
Well, my husband was laughing by this time but decided to indulge me and take me.
I've went to casino's on special occasions for 20 years. And I've only won twice. Once, at Ho-Chunk Casino in Wisconsin Dells with my friend Tina (this picture below) I won about $3,000 and once in Black River Falls, Wisconsin I won about $500. Both LAND BASED CASINOS, owned by NATIVE AMERICANS. Those are the casino trips I choose to remember.
We're leaving for Indiana, I figure, its in Indiana, (even kinda sounds like Indian), it must be a "real" casino. So we tell our smart ass teenage daughter the story, she's laughing, she can't believe her dad bought my "my people" story and so she says to me:
"HOLD ON HERE POCAHONTAS, "YOUR" PEOPLE?"
and she went into hysterical laughter again.
I ignored her and we left for the casino. Brat, what does she know?
We drive an hour to Indiana, pay 2, $3.50 tolls for the Skyway (WTF Indiana!!!) get there, and its on Lake friggin Michigan!!! A friggin barge/boat!!!
So yes, I lost, again, but I feel its only because I didn't have the Native American luck on my side, the luck of MY people (only in my mind), the Sioux. Forget Indiana, next time its the Wisconsin Native American owned casinos or bust!
UPDATE, 8/13/2011: Well, I finally went to the new Casino on the N.W. side of Chicago with my friend Tina. And guess what? Even though its called "Rivers Casino" its a LAND BASED CASINO RIGHT HERE IN CHICAGO!!! I played 1 and 2 cent slots and won all day long. I drank to much and stayed to long and ended up giving most of the money back to the casino but it was a lot of fun.
When Tina dropped me off at home without any winnings, Lorens said, "what happened to all your winnings Pocahontas?" I told him even though its a land based casino it must not be owned by Native Americans.
He just thinks I drank to much and stayed to long.
I hate it when he's right. But it was an adventure!
This is from a one hour period, only one hour, on 12/5/10, a totalBev/Lucy Ricardo hour:
We went to a party last night with some friends and so today, I WAS EXTREMELY HUNG OVER. This hangover won't go away, I'm dizzy, but its my sons birthday, 12/5, and today's birthday party must go on. So it did, but I've been bumping into things, knocking shit over all day. Like seriously, the grocery store was "clean up in asile 5" after my ass knocked something off of the shelf.
My husband went to bed about 8:30pm, laughing at me, told me to go to bed before I have another accident. FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT, I'd like to share with you, what I, Bev/LucyRicardo, have done in the last hour, JUST THE LAST HOUR since he fell asleep. This shit has been going on ALL DAY. I should have listened to my husband. Instead, boy is he gonna be mad at me at 6am. I should have listened to him and went to bed.
9:30pm FIRST, I went downstairs and decided to straighten the rug under the coffee table. So I lifted up one side of the coffee table and of course, everything, including the glass ash tray went sliding off the other side of the table onto the hardwood floor, shattered, glass everywhere. Why didn't I realize that would happen, what the hell is wrong with me today? So I cleaned it up, more dizzy now....
9:40pm SECOND, I decided to have a piece of a Bakers Square Cheesecake/french apple thingy that one of the guest had brought to the birthday party earlier today. I'm carrying a piece on a plate and a glass of milk to the frontroom, slipped on the kitchen floor, fell forward, the milk FLEW out of my hand (propelling forward, towards the front door and coat rack) so hard that it made the jingle bells on my front door jingle, from the milk now dripping down them and the door, and my hubby's coat.
I started laughing, he was right, I need to go to bed. I cleaned up the milk off the walls, the door and his coat.
I put the cake on the side table in the frontroom and I was trying to stay positive, laughing it off, thinking, AT LEAST I SAVED THE LAST PIECE OF CAKE!! Then I went downstairs to fold some clothes, then I remembered the cheesecake, so I came back to get it and another glass of milk.....
9:55pm THIRD, Upon entering the front room, I immediately see my husbands work boot on the couch, where I had been sitting a few minutes ago. What the hell?
Why would that be there? No one is downstairs. Who put it there? Then I noticed my son's wallet is in the shoe as well, and it's wet!
So I start laughing, AH HAAA, I think, my teens are messing with me, so I ask them, they're like "mom, you're crazy today, I don't know, maybe theres a ghost in the house." So now I'm really, really, confused.
I take out the wallet and notice the Dr. Scholls insole is wet too, so I take it out and my husbands shoe is filled with graham cracker crumbs and cream cheese. AH HAAA! Now I think I know what happened. I look to the side table, then to my dog, Princess, looking all guilty on the other side of the room.
She must have been eating the cake off of the side table, it was getting closer and closer to the edge of the table, like one of those quarter arcade games.
First, the moving plate must have pushed the wallet into the shoe,
then the entire piece of cheesecake fell into his shoe.
Then, Princess must have brought the shoe onto the couch
to really dig in during the 10 min. or so that I was folding clothes.
That's why it was all wet. It was dog slobber in his work boot.
I should have went to bed....
10:00pm-10:15pm
So, I'm at the sink, washing his shoe insole, my son's wallet and the inside of the shoe. I put them in the dish drainer to dry and start laughing hysterically at what he's going to think when he sees this scene tomorrow morning.
Then I turned around and saw his coat hanging, still drying after getting milk all over it, I had forgotten about that freak milk accident1/2 hour earlier and now I'm about to pee myself laughing so hard.
I thought, its been 45 minutes, his coat is going to smell like spoiled milk, his shoe is going to smell like rotten cheesecake tomorrow, he's gonna kill me.
I'm going to bed now. Yes, this is all true. I share it with you so you can laugh with me because it won't be as funny tomorrow when I tell him, "Honey, it was 2 freak accidents back to back." He's gonna say "LUCY!!!"
SO, THAT WAS ONE HOUR, JUST ONE HOUR, MY ENTIRE FRIGGIN DAY WAS LIKE THAT.
UPDATE:The next morning. I'm sleeping and my husband calls upstairs, "Honey, why are my shoe and Michael's wallet in the dish drainer?" So it took me a second and then I remembered it all and started laughing. So at least I woke up laughing.
I could walk to the train which takes me to downtown Chicago. I was feeling the familiar butterflies in my stomach, the ones I got when I would think of something exciting I could do, an adventure!!! Yes, I decided, that' it, I was going to go on an adventure today!!!
Yes, I was going alone.
And no, I didn't care.
I was going to pack a lunch, walk around downtown, have a mini picnic with myself in Grant Park, walk along Michigan Ave. or the lakefront, etc. Just be a part of Chicago, be out, feel free and alive!
Then I remembered Oprah was doing a show, OPEN TO THE PUBLIC, on Michigan Avenue. I thought, thats an even better idea! I've watched Oprah for 23 years. I got a lot of great advice from her when I was raising my kids. Marriage advice. Stranger danger advice. Safety advice. Stories of people who have made it through the most horrific events and are here to share their stories as inspiration for all of us. Oprah is awesome in my book.
But I thought I'd never get to see an Oprah show in person. I searched my house and found enough money for train fare there and back and so I knew, this is it, I'm actually going!
My friend Janet called me to see what I was doing, she was thinking of calling in sick to work, she really was feeling under the weather. I said, "I'm going to the Oprah show on Michigan Avenue, yes, I'm going alone, no, I don't care. This will be the highlight of my summer. The memories I make today will last a lifetime. This is a once in a lifetime day, and its a spur of the moment secret adventure, my favorite kind, I'm going!"
Well, to my surprise she said, "I'm coming with you!" and she called in sick to work and met me on the train.
When we got downtown, we ran with others to try and get the best position on Michigan Ave. We ended up about 2 blocks back from the main stage but right in the front row of our block that was sectioned off.
Downtown businesses were giving away stuff, seeing what a marketing jackpot this was becoming. Vitiamin Water passed out bottles of cold water ALL DAY AND NIGHT. Oprah's producers came into the crowd and passed out freebe's also. I was already having a great time.
My friend asked me to try and keep a low profile and stay off camera so her work wouldn't find out she was here.
ME? Keep a low profile?
I had brought a folding chair, PB&J sandwiches, treats, granola bars, fruit and water and started passing them out to others in our section that didn't have money, didn't bring food or didn't realize it was going to be this hot out here. I'm a wife, mom and a former Girl Scout so I was prepared. Thats why many people hated this event and many others, like me, LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. Because some of us were prepared to sit in the middle of Michigan Avenue for hours and some of us were not.
I told everyone, "Isn't this great, look at us, we're in the middle of Michigan Avenue in one of the greatest cities on earth." I made a big deal about every handout we got that day, no matter how small.
Some negative lady said when Vitamin Water handed out thousands of bottles of water, "so what, its just free water, big deal". I said, "Its flavored Vitamin Water I usually pay $1 a bottle for. And today, I've already had 4! Cheers to you, cheers to Oprah!!!" I was glad to have this chance and I appreciated it.
Then they told us they had a surprise for Oprah and the Black Eyed Peas. The biggest flash dance in the history of the world to date, would be performed today, BY ALL OF US!
We practiced the dance moves for HOURS. The picture above is of us practicing. The girl on stage behind me was one of the dancers showing us the moves.
When people started complaining (because many of us were over weight housewives that weren't use to dancing in the middle of Michigan Avenue in 85 degrees for hours), I offered them something to eat or drink. I told jokes. We told stories of our favorite Oprah moments.
This was becoming a great adventure, like the ones I use to make for myself when I was a kid. I would explore Chicago on my own and make my own happiness through my own adventures (see my story: http://bev-benyamin.blogspot.com/2011/04/bev-11-year-old-secret-chicago-explorer.html).
Then I saw the cameras, newsmen, reporters.
The butterflies started inside of me.
I thought, I'm just a housewife from Chicago,
and I'll never have this chance again.
I had to get on TV.
I had to.
I needed to be on TV.
I became unstoppable.
BEV THE TRIPLE THREAT (ha ha):
TELEVISION:
Me to Marcus LeShok of WGN TV: "Hey, Mr. LeShok, over here, I love you, you're the best, WGN, whoot whoot!!!" I said "OMG, Mr. LeShok, I'm the number one Oprah fan in the world!!!! Please come over here, talk to me". The people in our section I had been talking with all day were like "Yeah, Mr. LeShok, come over here, shes Oprah's biggest fan!" So he walks right up to me and starts interviewing me on camera.
I'M THE ONE IN THE WGN CHICAGO NEWS CLIP BELOW (1:24) THAT SAYS (In a deep voice that I can't believe belongs to me, yuck. It was sore from talking and cheering for about 5 hours.) WHEN ASKED WHAT OPRAH MEANS TO ME: "EVERYTHING! ONLY OPRAH CAN CLOSE DOWN MICHIGAN AVENUE. UNLESS A CAB HIT ME I WOULD NOT BE IN THE MIDDLE OF MICHIGAN AVENUE IF IT WASN'T FOR OPRAH WINFREY! Then later in the video (2:14) I also said "She built the schools in Africa. Oprah does everything."
My friend is the one to my right, in the Harley hat,
trying to hide from the camera.
NEWSPAPER:
Then there were photographers from the Tribune and Sun Times taking pictures. I saw them snapping pictures of our section but I was behind some people. I felt I HAD to get in the pictures, so, naturally (for me), I jumped into the air and screamed YES, fists pumping in the air. So in the picture below, I appear to be some giant Amazon woman, great. My friend Janet is sitting down waving in the Harley hat.
RADIO:
Then, another reporter from WGN radio saw all this attention I was getting and was probably thinking what a NUT I WAS and he started interviewing me. Then he asked if I would sign an agreement to be on WGN radio tomorrow morning to talk about today. I said ABSOLUTELY!!!
This was all before the Oprah Show even started.
Then the show started, she introduced the Black Eyed Peas. This was it, I was so excited! When the dance started, I kinda felt bad for Oprah and the Black Eyed Peas. I felt embarrassed for them because they weren't in on what was happening. They must have thought we were a boring crowd, just standing there, not moving, to play this trick on them.
Oprah put her hand over her head, swaying it back and forth, trying to get us to move, or to make sure we were still alive.
The Black Eyed Peas were clapping their hands above their heads, trying to get us to move, smile, anything.
Then, just as planned, the 1 lady in the front row starts dancing, then some more rows up front joined in, then we ALL started dancing, like 15,000 of us, many overweight housewives just like me! We even did wave moves, it was incredible. The Black Eyed Peas said it was the best surprise of their career. Oprah said, "THAT WAS THE COOLEST THING EVER!"
The show was also incredible. HERE I WAS, BROKE ASS BEV, dancing in a record breaking flash dance, meeting great people, getting freebie's, at this incredible event and concert, with Oprah, the Black Eyed Peas, James Taylor, Rascal Flats Chris Angel and Jennifer Hudson, ALL FOR THE PRICE OF TRAIN FARE!
It's one of my best adventures so far.
When it ended at sunset, Nate, Oprah's designer friend, was leaving, I ran right up to him saying, "OMG Nate, I love you!". He looked at me and said "Ok?" (like, why is this lady so excited? I'm not a rock star.) but he shook my hand! So, I even got to shake the hand of a famous person!
We took a water Taxi along the beautiful Chicago River. There was a cool breeze, perfect after this hot, sweaty, tiring, awesome day. We got off the water taxi at Union Station and rode the train home.
My friend said, "God Bev, you were on a roll today, I hope we're not on the news." As we're on the train discussing it, someone we both knew from her work called her cell phone and said, "Hey, you were on the news just now, you and Bev, clear as day."
That's when Bev's adventure lost some of its luster for her.
Utt Oh, Lucyyyy, what have you done!!!
I tried to say I was sorry, I told her that damn magnetic personality of mine just couldn't be stopped. She didn't think that was funny.
At 6am the next morning, WGN radio called me for the debate over yesterdays event. I was someone that said she had the best time ever. There was also a lady that said the day was a disaster. I made my case stronger. I put a positive spin on everything. After, he said I was being awarded a $50.00 gift card to a downtown pizza place. I gave it to my daughter, her and her friends took the train downtown for their own adventure and used it. So I got to spread happiness again, thanks to Oprah.
I told my friend, "Maybe your boss missed the news last night and my radio interview this morning."
Then I went to the store and got the newspaper, the Chicago Sun-Times, the date was even funny, 09/09/09.
I opened it and was like, UTT OHH, the gig is up, my friend is definitely in trouble now.
Because there was that picture of me and her as part of a 2 page spread titled:
"Oprah's Magnificent Smile"
with Oprah on one page and on the page next to her,
there was ME, jumping in the air (to make sure I was in the pic),
so I look a foot taller than everyone else, and my friend is sitting down, in the Harley hat, waving.
When she went into work, she was called into her bosses office.
He had the Chicago Sun-Times on his desk, opened to this picture, our picture.
SHE WAS SUSPENDED FOR 2 WEEKS WITHOUT PAY.
I felt really bad. Its been almost 2 years now,
hopefully she's forgiven me.
But it was one of my favorite adventures..... so far.
My 15 minutes of fame. TV, Radio & Newspaper.
All for the price of train fare & water taxi fare.
Once again I had a great time even though I'm poor.
And my theory once again proved true,
that money & material possessions don't always bring happiness.
